HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SAM....

yup, it's official. My baby turned one year old. Can i tell you how much of a blubbery mess i am. I can't stand it that he's not my little baby anymore. I guess it really hit me harder with Sam than it did with my other two because i KNOW Samuel is my last baby. As much as i hate not being able to have more children, i know it's probably for the best... if for nothing else than my sanity. HE'S MY BABY, and now he's turned one and there is no turning back time.

so, before i short out my keyboard with the river running from my eyes, here's some pictures from our low-key (family only) two day birthday celebration. Poor Sam didn't even have a clue as to what was really going on but we got pictures anyways. Only a handful turned out not blurry since DH had the camera most the night.

I am a little upset with myself that we didn't do the whole birthday cake thing. That is all mostly my fault. I actuall did buy a birthday cake and a cute little candle to put on top. But with all the chaos of people coming in and out all evening(s) long, i (we) all forgot... both days. I could just kick myself in the teeth!

Sam actually still made out like a bandit even though we didn't throw a big bash. He got a bunch of clothes, a few trucks along with a few other toys, and even got a latern light. Poor kid is cursed getting firetruck everything now that his dad is on fire department. I'm one of the guilty ones. Everytime i see something "firefighter" i grab it, expecially if it's for one of the kids, baby Sam is certainly no exception.

Sadly his birthday crept up on my by surprise. I have good reasons though. And if you stick around long enough to read my reasons, i'll explain as well as i can.

Reason #1 - he isn't walking yet. I know this is a stupid reason of why i didn't realize his birthday was coming up so fast. But in my mind, it makes complete sence! You see, Daylon and Rianne were BOTH walking by the time they were one year old. In fact, Daylon was walking when he was 9 months old and running around by the time his first birthday rolled around. Rianne, not so much, but she WAS walking when her birthday came around.

Reason #2 - our life is so chaotic right now. DarRell has been working late every night and has been working weekends too. I haven't had more than a few hours with him before he's off to work again. It's really a big bummer when we have the weekend planned out and he ends up going to work. Some Saterdays i understand but EVERY Saterday AND Sunday is just plain exhausting for all of us. Every day has seemed like a week day for the family with DarRell gone. So it seems like it's a never-ending week and time seems to stand still while we wait for a weekend. So many weeks have ended up like this that we have all lost track of time.

Reason #3 - this may be, perhaps, the most crushing to me. I just don't want my Sam to grow up. A first birthday is a HUGE milestone. He's my last baby. There are no more first birthdays. I really want a re-do when i'm ready for him to turn one. I know it really doesn't work that way, but a sentimental sad mommy can wish can't she?